Sweet Movies #2 NIGHT OF THE DEMONS

Hollywood fucking sucks.
  You can attempt to argue that fact but it's like a fat person buying a Diet Coke with their Double Quarter Pounder meal telling me they are trying to get in shape. Hollywood now is nothing but no talent hacks that can't even be bothered to write original stories. Just glammed up super hi res remakes of movies that were ultimately better in the grainy original version.
  So I'm not talking about the shitty Night of the Demons remake with Shannon Elizabeth.
  I'm not even talking about the sequels to the original classic.
  No you whiny SJW ass fucking JJ Abrams Star Wars apologists I'm talking about the 1988 classic of teen horror the original NIGHT OF THE DEMONS.

  For years I didn't watch this movie. I learned early on in the relationship that someone's no self esteem mother had ground into her the belief that all women with big boobs are terrible and that all men love big boobs so if you don't have big boobs you're somehow less a woman. As it turns out this is completely wrong when it comes to yours truly since I'm an ass and leg man. And damn does she have a great ass.

  Anyway Night of the Demons is a great film that manages to capture everything amazing about 80s horror movies. All of the stereotype characters are there. The innocent high school prude girl that doesn't understand that most guys just want to get off and don't really care about them at all. The tough guy who moved from the tough streets of the Bronx or maybe Brooklyn to a small town. He's hard as fuck but has a heart of gold and a really tight t-shirt. There's the skinny funny kid who is friends with everyone because not only is he moderately funny but he would never dare fight back when they pick on him. There's the punk rock fat kid with random Anarchy symbols all over his cut up clothes. In this case he's also the annoyingly lovable fat kid. I assume this is so they could save paying an extra actor and use the money on the rocking 80s special effects. There's the black kid who has no purpose whatsoever except to have a little variety in the ethnicity of the victims. Plus he's always scared. Like every little thing scares him. But we're all racists now right. There's also an Asian girl who I don't think has more than about four lines but she does show her boobs and they aren't terrible so I don't mind her being in the movie.

  But I'm nothing if not honest. Just ask that idiot that had twenty four cans of cat food in one box in the twenty items or less box and tried to tell me that even though they were all separate and he had put them in a box they counted as one item the same as his other twenty single items that I told was a fucking dip shit that was wasting everyone's time. Especially once he told the woman she hadn't counted them correctly and demanded she rescan everything.

  So the honest truth is that the real stars of the movie are the two sisters. The one people remember is this one.

  I'm sure there are entire Facebook groups of heavyset sweaty horror fans who know her name but I don't. The movie isn't that good.

  So this chick and her sister, who is a raven haired goth girl that doesn't show her ass decide to throw a rockin Halloween party at an abandoned funeral parlor. They manage to talk the aforementioned group of ethnic and social misfits into coming to the party which I'm sure they told them was going to be a rager of epic proportions. As it turns out they are correct only not in the way they think they are. As with all great 80s teen horror movies there is a little tease, a medium amount of boobs, a good bit of gore and tons of bad jokes.

  Oh and there's a kind of seance.

  That's when shit gets real.

  I'm not going to give any spoilers and yes I may have already shown you the best single frame in the entire movie unless you're a boob guy, but the effects, particularly the demon creature effects are plenty good for what this movie is about. It's a fun little way to waste an hour and half with a head full of weed and someone who thinks goofy 80s schlock horror is as good as it is bad.

  Also, for you true horror film aficionados that are so into it that you listen to podcasts about horror movies or whatever, here's a sweet poster I found that was apparently used in Ghana when the film was released. I have no idea why the woman has a crocodile body aside from the fact that people who don't have paved roads and deal with crocodiles on a regular basis have an irrational fear of them. Or are strangely attracted to them the way Americans think it's sexy to dress up like cats or whatever and purr to get off.